Imagine an elderly couple, hand in hand, strolling through your local farmer’s market. The sweetness, the gentleness, the blissfulness inevitably prompt thoughts of, I want that someday.

Daydreams of finding love, falling in love and remaining in love often consume us. There’s neither a crystal ball nor a diary detailing a relationship’s fate, which often creates fear and uncertainty. Will a first date lead to a second? How long will it be before my boyfriend proposes? Will marriage reflect the fantasies of my childhood storybooks?

An eagerness to dream about a relationship’s future— or similarly, to dwell in its past— steers us from enjoying the moment. The kind of timeless moment you witnessed the elderly couple having as they strolled through the market. Here are five encouragements for staying present in your relationship, whether you’re in a flirty fling or a years-long courtship.