Get really rooted in your true values and create your wedding in alignment with these words. Chris and I sat in a breakfast nook in Boulder, Colorado a year and a half out from our wedding and rooted in our values as individuals and in our values together in our relationship. From there, we created the wedding vibration of our dreams and held true to all the elements that would allow us to be excited, present and connected.

Get super visual with it. Close your eyes and envision the day. See everything from the dress, the shoes, the toenail polish, to the dirt, grass or wood floor beneath your feet. See who is there, who is crying, who is drunk? See all the details that are unique and special to you. My sweet grandma was my flower girl. I wore custom-made wedding boots and gifted my bridesmaids with matching boots while letting them choose their own dresses to fit their personalities. My sister suggested throwing feathers at our recessional. As I am obsessed with feathers and angels, this was a resounding “hell yes.” My sweet mother had found these sweet ‘H’ letters to put on tables. That was a clear “hell no.” From this vision, you can create a clear and mindful path to the wedding environment you (and your partner) truly desire on the big day.

In an attempt to get organized and clear, I went out to Barnes & Noble, coffee in hand, and spent about 67 full minutes in the wedding section. I finally bought The Knot Wedding Binder and by the time I got home and opened it, I was already 116 items late on my list. Insert panic button and wine glass emojis. To prepare for actually looking at your (long) to do list, get clear on what you absolutely must own and what details you can delegate and give away. There are plenty of people that want to help – that is truly what a maid of honor and all those bridesmaids are selected for. Put their initials next to the different items and begin to see your list get smaller and smaller. People are honored to be included – make them a corsage and write a thank you note. Done and delegated.

The Queen of DIY, willpower to max and creativity oozing, my sweet mom was my wedding planner, decorator, task manager and, well, my mom. This is a big day for all the Mamas. Know when to wrangle and when to let go with your dearest mother of the bride (M.O.B.). You really want to build the trust right up front. For example, when it came to centerpieces, I knew my Mom well enough to trust her judgment and let her run with it. When it came to flowers, we Facetimed and texted every step of the way together. It is all too easy to get over emotional and bridezilla-style with your own mother. The planning can be a really beautiful bonding session or it can turn real catty, real fast. Create clear boundaries of ownership and support from the start with the utmost compassion and gratitude. I am still thanking my mom; she really nailed it in all her M.O.B. duties and went about 7,118 extra miles.

It gets really hairy at about the three-month countdown and then that hair gets really tangled at about the one-month countdown. I urge you to remember why you are getting married: that whole love-someone-forever-celebration part. Write it down and have it on mirrors and toilet seats and wallets. Remembering the reason you are throwing this huge love-fest celebration with your favorite family and friends will ground you when creating the invite list, when creating a must-dance wedding playlist and even when doing a trial make-up sesh that makes you look like an ’80s mannequin. Reminder: the love part.

Oh yes, that amazing human being you are marrying for the rest of your life. Even though some significant others are super clear they want to have nothing to do with the planning, I totally doubt it. Asking for opinions, support, and getting final sign off is a beautiful way to include your partner in the wedding details. Even if, on the inside, you cringe and disagree with what they say, I urge you to try listening first and then communicating. What a great way to start your marriage – as a team unit from the get go.

The good ol’ Bridal Stress Strategy, the B.S.S. – I made it up and it is necessary. Go ahead and prep for your freak-out strategy now. Write it down. Now, go share it with three people on wedding committee: your maid of honor, your mother and your future hubs. They need to know where to send you to shift when you hit the all-inducing stress of a panic button. Ideas: a yoga session, the bathtub (I say, add bath salt, wine and a pre-crafted Spotify B.S.S. playlist), sleep, a dog to snuggle (any dog will do), a run… I will be honest – I was not a stress-free bride. I was mindful, yes. Stress-free, not a chance. However, I knew ways to shift my energy so that my man still wanted to say ‘I do’ come wedding day. Get strategic.

When planning the big day, you will be pulled in many directions with “fun” ideas, schedule suggestions or family requests. As a giant reminder, this day is actually for you and your beloved. Create space in the plans for you to feel the ‘just us’ moments that are magic during this time. As a suggestion from our brilliant best friend of an officiant, my man and I planned a secret/sacred ceremony in the forest before the rehearsal dinner, the day before the wedding. We ran off without telling anyone and our officiant blessed us in nature; we shared words and, well, we cried together in joy and in love. It alleviated some of the pressure come the ceremony and it truly allowed us to just be ‘us’ for a moment in time in the woods with the wind. Steal time together for magic – make it a priority on that day and for the rest of your days.