“No skepticism, no maybes. It’s either yes or no. Say yes.”
Wishy-washiness is a weird thing. You think you’re weighing all of your options, that you are opening your mind, that you are being precise and meticulous and mature.
In reality, that is the furthest thing from the truth. As you wish-wash back and forth and back again, you are simply confusing yourself and muddling your intuition. Moreover, you are solidifying a habit within yourself.
Practice does not make perfect, but it does make Pattern. And Pattern makes Permanence.
Get into the pattern of wishy-washiness and next thing you know, you find yourself feeling unstable, insecure and out of control. Oh hey, isn’t that exactly what you were afraid would happen if you had just said yes? When you knew in your gut that ‘yes’ was the right answer all along?
Being logical makes us feel smart. It makes us feel powerful and insightful, like we could sit down and rewrite the Bible, add a Newer Testament, give a TED Talk and still have time to beat all our iPhone contacts at Words With Friends. So when presented with a yes or no scenario, we stumble over our surplus of hoarded logic. And then we stumble over the logic of others that somehow made it into our heap.
You know in your heart and in your head WHAT and WHO and WHERE you WANT and NEED, and WHAT and WHO and WHERE you DON’T WANT and DON’T NEED.
Why all this obscurity? Why the induced skepticism? Why the unnecessary turmoil?
Right now, right this second, make a commitment to use the answer ‘maybe’ as a last resort. I’m not saying to eliminate it completely. The word exists for a reason. There are plenty of times the word ‘maybe’ is perfectly valid. However, so many times we view ‘no’ as a wrong answer, so we disguise it in a cloak of maybes. Or… we are scared what will happen if we say YES.
The commitment to one or the other, yes or no, is a sign of strength. Of control. Of respect. Respect for oneself and respect for others. When it comes to one-word-answer decisions, Maybe just doesn’t cut it.
Here is my yes/no gauge:
If you’re grasping at straws trying to talk yourself out of it, do it. If you’re furiously trying to talk yourself into it, don’t bother.
Clear the clutter. Make a decision. Open the door. Say no. Or say yes.