My tax man has been in the business of money for over fifty years. His business is perched on the third floor of an inconspicuous putty-colored building, sandwiched between a production company and a plumber’s HQ. Walk into his office and it’s a little like a page out of the I Spy series of my childhood: books upon books and knick-knacks randomly scattered around the shelves. A framed set of coins, a USC championship banner from who knows when. Old family photos and Hemmingway anthologies. Notebooks and textbooks and file folders galore. The haphazard space is strangely calming, the lack of outward order makes me sigh with relief every year – because once I sit down at his desk, I know he’s got my back. His hands shake slightly and he uses the same calculator he’s had since 1984. And when I express concern or ask a question, he reminds me that I’ve got things under control – because much like his office, my exterior world can sometimes feel a bit confusing.
Money is a topic which most of us tap-dance around, even with the people closest to us. There’s a sense of shame associated with not having as much as we feel we should, or not being able to afford what we once could. Because of this shame, we take what we can get and run with it. We latch onto poor financial advice without doing research or getting multiple opinions, because it’s something. We hang onto certain monetary guidance for longer than it serves us, sticking by principles or processes that might have been appropriate a few years back but are since outdated for the life we lead in the present and hope to create in the future. It doesn’t help when we encounter people who perceive a mentality of richness as greedy or narcissistic. We cling to financial fears, we adopt a less-than mentality even if we are blessed with abundance. We are starved for an open conversation, we are conditioned to make money our enemy.
It does not have to be this way.
It’s very likely that if the thought of checking your bank account balance makes you break out in cold sweats, you’ve got quite a few people around you who are reinforcing this. Money woes can be a way of bonding with others: commiserating over how expensive something is or how you really cannot afford such-and-such. It can be a relief to know that you’re not alone, but it can also be damaging to both parties if you are not devising a game plan to shift into a more positive and proactive reality. Here are some tools to break out of financial fears, shift into a rich mentality, and stay, shall we say, accountable:
Breaking out of financial fears is not about a specific number in your bank account, a figure on your paycheck or a lucky winning lottery ticket. It’s about being tired of the control the mere thought of money has over both you and the people you love. Be your own positive example of what a healthy relationship with George, Abe, Alex, and Andy looks like. You might not have any plans to be a CFO or accountant – but you can work to be a modern-minded, money-spending, money-saving spirit who has shifted from a daily mindset of financial fear to worth and abundance. No matter what the ebbs and flows of your finances look like, the act of feeling in control is something that only appreciates in value. That’s a richness that cannot be taxed.
