Lori Harder thinks you should F yourself and everyone else. The F, in this case, stands for forgiveness, and according to self-love specialist Lori Harder, we could all exercise a bit more of it in our lives. Adapted from Lori’s new book, A Tribe Called Bliss, the excerpt below breaks down the wellness benefits of forgiveness — from increased presence to deeper relationships — and offers a few fulfilling ways to work it…

I hope you come down with a serious case of the “F” its. It’s complete freedom to “F” yourself and everyone else. Do it in public, do it in private, do it in church. It’s hot, sexy, shocking, spiritual, and it makes you feel completely liberated. Did I mention it cranks up your mood, vibe, and manifesting skills faster than any other thing I’ve tried? Are you in the mood for a good ol’ “F” sesh yet?

If you haven’t yet figured it out and you’re ready to burn this book and sage your eyeballs from those graphic mental pictures that you’ve accidentally enjoyed, the “F” stands for forgive.

That’s right, forgive yourself and everyone else every second of every day. And once you’re done going down the list, start over at the top and start the “F-ing” all over again.

Why We Need to Learn to Let GoThe most important thing you can know about forgiveness is that you don’t need to be ready or understand how to forgive or even what it would look like if you did. You just have to be willing to keep trying and asking for help to let go. It’s not going to happen overnight, so you can start by forgiving your impatience right now. Experiencing peace even for one second longer than you did yesterday is progress. You can’t get to the other side without going through.

Forgiveness does not make wrong or hurtful things okay— not even close. Forgiveness helps you to loosen and eventually release the grip the person has on you or should we say, the grip you have on the person. This eventually allows you to return back to love, which is where your power and authentic truth lie. Forgiveness lets you off the hook and allows you to stop the continuous replay of the wrongs that occurred.

Forgiving everyone doesn’t make you a pushover. In fact, it’s quite the opposite as it puts your power and happiness back into your hands by taking you out of the paralyzing, poisonous thoughts causing you to relive the past in your head. When we’re in defense mode, we are thinking of hate, harm, and visualizing an attack back. Even if this is kept to yourself, you’re living the feelings in real time as if it’s all happening in the present.

Here’s How To Do It: Write A Letter

Write A letter. A great exercise in forgiveness is to write a letter to yourself or to someone that you have been having trouble forgiving. You won’t send the letter, this is just for you.

say it all. Write down why you felt hurt and how this affected your life. Next, I want you to write from a place of compassion and try to understand why this happened, how this could have come from a place of fear, misunderstanding, lack, etc. on their part. Then tell them what lesson you learned and how this has benefited you.

forgive. End your letter by telling them you forgive them and wishing them well in the future. Tell them you release them so that you can move forward and stop carrying the pain of this occurrence.

Let it burn. This step is optional: Do a letter-burning ceremony. Find a safe way to burn your letter that you have written while saying the prayer:
“I release you, I am free, you are free. God give me the strength to see you with love.”

Discover the best way to support a friend going through a rough patch
with this throughtful advice from A Tribe Called Bliss.