4.29.16
How To Fail: 4 Life Lessons That Can Only Be Learned Through Failure

Shifting the way we perceive failure in our own lives can reveal little wisdoms and insights that transform us into better versions of ourselves, but only if we chose to be aware and willing to adapt. We love this piece from Darling Magazine contributor, Heather Haines, for the relatable perspective on this very real-life topic. Everyone make mistakes – the beauty of being human is that we’re all capable of growing from them…

You can categorize failure any way you’d like – a malfunction of daily life, the flop of a once brilliant idea or the breakdown of a concept you believed in – but it’s all the same. This didn’t work. Depending on how badly it didn’t work, you could still be cringing ten years from now. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Many of us spend so much time focusing on the catastrophe itself, we’re unable to step back and see these little fiascos for what they are: tiny moments where we manufacture our lives. It’s like our life is an assembly line made up of experiences instead of machine parts. You can’t think of your disasters as failures because they are the very essence of maturity. They usher us in to the era of good decision making and wisdom.

Today, our newsfeeds are full of benchmark lists defining our arrival into adulthood or motherhood or senior executive status. We’re so easily led to believe that children or six-figure accounts mean achievement. Just because you can have children and succeed at a job doesn’t mean you’ve grown up.

Failures can shatter your heart, but they’ll give you an astute complexity in return. You can spend a lifetime trying to hide from them, but your life will not be complete until you’ve handled these shared dilemmas.

The point of all of your mistakes is twofold, really. Not only do you need to evolve as a person, but there’s a generation of woman behind you who are as enthusiastic and silly as you were once upon a time. They’ll have their own failures and when they do, they’ll need someone to commiserate with. So, if nothing else, think of your lifecycle of blunders as on-the-job training. I promise it will come in handy.

Here are four failures that teach very necessary lessons…

Failure No. 1: You got ugly

When breaking up with him, when quitting, when you were tired, angry, hurt — it doesn’t matter the reason why. You didn’t exhibit grace when you could have. You said things you shouldn’t, were childish and you fought dirty. You brought a little Springer to your charming life, didn’t you? What you learned here (or are learning now) is that anger doesn’t get to drive in the front seat, no matter how upset you are. We all need to recognize the devil inside, if only to understand her better…  and to remember to lock the door so she can’t get back out.

Failure No. 2: You went back

What you went back to doesn’t matter. You had a moment of self-doubt or weakness or sentimentality. You pressed the replay button and shortly thereafter were reminded of why you quit in the first place. It’s a tough lesson involving forgiveness and re-opening wounds. Then pride steps in and you have to admit your mistake while making an awkward exit. The real triumph in the end is learning to trust yourself. There was a reason you left. Even if the good times were really amazing, they don’t overshadow the bad. You can turn this into a victory by learning to have confidence in your decisions.

Failure No. 3: You forgot where you came from

Weren’t you raised better? Well, yes. We were. However, at some point you were caught up in the moment and things got a little wild. It happens to the best of us. However, our mothers and aunts and grandmothers taught us better. A woman might not always wear a tiara, but the attributes of a lady? We can wear those like a crown and they go with every outfit in the closet. There’s certainly something delicious about our inner wild child, but restraining her is a virtue all its own and it’s a skill best perfected over time. However, there’s no denying the secret delight of knowing you have the potential to shake it up… if you really want to.

Failure No. 4: You didn’t listen

The advice could come from anyone but you didn’t take it and the “I told you so” moment is upon you. You don’t need someone to stand in front of you and say the words because you already know and now you’re frustrated with yourself. All you can do is shake your head. Well that, and listen next time. Life isn’t about being able to conquer the world all on your own, it’s about knowing when you need a hand. Now you understand the value of experience and more importantly, the cost of not heeding it.

 What is a perceived failure that you’ve learned from? Let us know in the comments!

Read the original article from Darling Magazine, here!


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Leave A Comment

  1. Don’t give men,your money

    Annette | 04.29.2016 | Reply
  2. Allowing myself to fall back into an old, destructive mindset again, and thus once more ending up in a place I’d promised myself I’d never return to, has definitely been a failure that I’m currently learning from. Seeing as I, as well as the people around me, have had to suffer greatly from this , and I’m now having to carry the consequences and am left with no choice but to do the dirty work to somehow clean up this mess and restore somewhat of a balance…

    Pia | 04.30.2016 | Reply
  3. Truly, failure can be your very best teacher.



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